yebaah!

Life always happens in seasons and I’m constantly out of tune with it.

There was a time when every girl my age in my neighborhood, friends and former schoolmates seemed to be getting married and pregnant, vice-versa or just plainly getting pregnant.  

I think I was the last one standing as I watched my friends succumbed to the age-old nature’s call of cohabitation.  Suddenly, conversations switched to who got hitched to whom, weddings and relationships with the in-laws. Suddenly, I didn’t have girl friends to go out with on a Friday or Saturday night.  At 26 came my parents’ constant but gentle reminders of the doom and gloom of spinsterhood, as they worried about my fickle-mindedness in men.  I’m pretty sure that they heaved a sigh of relief as I got married to my Mr Salvation.

Then came many seasons of procreation…and here we are, still childless - more so by passiveness rather than choice.  Though we live in a time and place where IVF, surrogacy or adoption is common, we didn’t want any of these.  Our attitude has always been if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.   And we are quite happy and we still feel luckier than most. 

The Philippine society, however, has always been less accepting of those who are different.  I don’t know how it started considering children as a prerequisite to a good marriage, and not having any is feared, especially by its women, to be a potentially marriage-negating condition.  My husband and I find it amusing how some Filipinos impose these thoughts and fears on us.  Oftentimes, we just politely nod to unsolicited how-to advice .   We contain our sarcasm when we hear selfish reasons like ’you need children to take care of you when you’re old’ .  We bite our tongue when we fathom some people’s depth of thinking as they conclude our home to be empty and lifeless without children.  Hmmm.

life happens in seasons… and those of us who are not so attuned to it? do have lives that are as happy, full and meaningful as can be.  oh yeah.